pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
