very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
