Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
