I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
