You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
