What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
