i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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