i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
