i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
