Pants 0. Shit 1.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
