If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
