i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
