So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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