I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
