I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
