All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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