yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
