Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
