i think my tv is drunk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
