I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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