new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
