just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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