her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
