Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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