I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
After tacos, we're chasing women.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
