We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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