Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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