we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
