We need to rekindle our bromance
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
