so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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