It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
