Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
