I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
