I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
