I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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