we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize