made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
how drunk are you?
Several
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
