Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
