Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
