marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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