I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
