No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
