the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
