My first STD was from a foam party
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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