If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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