I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
