it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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