he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
