didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
