laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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