I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
